Earlier today I started tweeting a series of snarky tips for musicians and music industry folks. They were retweeted quite a bit, so I decided to collect them all here. You can follow me on Twitter at @jasondcrane. Enjoy!
- Every time your web site begins playing music automatically, a puppy spontaneously combusts.
- Every time someone is forced to visit myspace to learn more about your music, a baby seal falls into a meat grinder.
- If you’re an active musician whose web site was last updated a few months ago, you’re causing global warming.
- Every time you send out a promo CD with no track titles or musician names, a butterfly flaps its wings and they fall off.
- Every time someone visits your gig calendar and finds it was last updated in 2009, Dick Cheney shoots a guy in the face.
- Every time your bio lists your “forthcoming CD” as one that came out 3 years ago, George W. Bush chops down a redwood.
- Every time you make me type your CD details into my music software because you forgot, Donald Rumsfeld has an orgasm.
- Every time you put a comment form rather than your email address on your web site, an old person loses their health care.
- Every time your bio is a long list of the people you’ve “shared the stage with,” more oil spills into the Gulf of Mexico.
- Musicians: If you have a Twitter account & haven’t tweeted in weeks or months, you don’t have a Twitter account.
Haha, and this is a comment form instead of your email :)
Seriously, these are all spot-on. Glad your session podcast is able to continue.
If I can’t see your site on my iPad because it requires Flash, McDonald’s starts putting pink slime in their burgers again.
Dan: Just to be clear, I’m talking about a contact form, not a comment box. And Brett, I love your addition.